As I was doing my daily scan of news, interesting tidbits etc…I came across this interesting question. I am sad to say I was not nearly as creative as the gentlemen who answered below. Keeping our minds actively engaged is just as important as honing our physical selves, so how would you answer this question. Don’t jump ahead or you will ruin it.

What would you do?

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. Read More →

Submitted by Mary-Ann Shukla

When I mention to people I use meditation to reduce stress, I get mixed responses. Sometimes it is a snicker or I might get an occasionally ohmmm… more often the response is one of interest. When I read the article attached I saw how other people and companies are introducing meditation into the workplace. It did get me thinking “so how could I introduce this to my workplace”. If and when I figure that out I’ll  let you know.

In the meantime the article was for me an affirmation that I am not alone in my struggles and I should continue my practice and more importantly share what works. Those of you on the fence about what to do about your stress level read on – Meditation finds an omm in the office.

I walked out of my apartment building this morning and it was so beautiful outside. I couldn’t help but notice the snow sparkles.  I had to show my son the sparkling top layer of the snow.  I have been enjoying so much the morning sunrise.  We are so fortunate to see the sunrise on the way to work!  I am driving and I look at the pink sky.  Yes, there is beauty in winter….that’s for sure.  I don’t forget the fact that I have to scrape the windshield, warm up the car, and put layers of clothes, but as I look at the sunrise and listen to some music on the way to work, my attitude changes and I set a nice tone for my day.

I guess I am trying to talk about inspiration.  Isn’t it inspiration that we are all looking for in our day, in our experiences, and interactions with people?  I know I am.  When I read, I want to read something that moves me.  If I listen to music, I want the music to get to me, I want to feel it.  I am referring to experiences that touch me on a deep level.  At the end of the day, these are the experiences which bring meaning to my life.  Sometimes I think that my life is about connections—with family, friends, and people in general.  My interactions would not be meaningful to me unless I felt connected with my loved ones on a deeper level.  At least this is how I am and I am aware that people are different.  And it is all good.

I don’t know about you, but I know that I was never taught to be gentle to myself, to be kind to myself, to be self-compassionate.  I read an article recently addressing self-compassion and it made me think.  I started asking myself “Do I give myself a break sometimes? Do I beat myself up for my faults?”  Read More →

I remember walking in the neighborhood in Vegas where I lived when I was 18 years old.  I was enjoying my walk and smiled at the people passing by.  I decided to do my own experiment.  When people smiled back, if felt great.  If they didn’t, it was still all right because I was doing what felt right.

Did you know that we smile even while we are in the womb? 3-D technology now shows that developing babies smile.  After babies are born, they continue to smile (at the beginning in their sleep) and even blind babies smile in response to the sound of the human voice.  Isn’t that fascinating or what?

Have you ever wondered why being around children who smile frequently makes you smile more often? There is a high chance when we smile for people to smile back.  It would be very challenging to frown  when looking at someone who smiles.  Charles Darwin developed the Facial Feedback Response Theory which suggests that the act of smiling makes us feel better.  This theory is supported by a research done in Echnische University in Munich, Germany.  In 2009, scientists used fMRI (Functional MRI) imaging to measure brain activity in regions of emotional processing in the brain.  They found out that facial feedback changes the neural processing of emotional content in the brain and concluded that our brain’s circuitry of emotion and happiness is activated when we smile.

Unlike lots of chocolate, lots of smiling can actually make you healthier.  Smiling has therapeutic effects and is associated with reduced stress hormone levels (like cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine), increased health and mood enhancing hormone levels (like endorphins), and lowered blood pressure.

I am not finished yet.  It seems like smiling is one of the best things we could be doing.  Smiling makes us look good in the eyes of others.  A study at Penn State University confirmed that when we smile, we not only appear more likable and courteous, but we are perceived to be more competent.

Here is a brief summary of the stats about smiling:

• When you smile, you look good and feel good
• When others see you smile, they smile too
• When others smile, they look good and feel good, too.

Well, we can all together start a smiling revolution! One thing, though, the smile you give has to be big and genuine.

In conclusion, smiling can improve not only your life, but also the lives of others.  It helps us live longer, healthier, and happier lives.

Mother Teresa said: “I will never understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish.”

I attended a workshop at the Manitoba Tourism Education Council called Managing Workplace Stress– A Survival Guide. I wanted to share some of the ideas and tips I learned with you.

We can allow stress to manage us or we can choose to manage stress. There are many different methods out there and just like the causes of stress are individual, so are the solutions. Finding the ones that work for you is a matter of trial and error. Some suggestions are listed below.

1. Think positively: the idea is to try to avoid negative thinking and over-analyzing what co-workers have said or done, as this increases your stress levels. If we allow the negative self-talk to start, it can spiral out of control.

2. Be realistic: As much as you may want to be Superman or Superwoman, you can’t be. Be realistic about what you can and cannot accomplish. There is no point in trying to complete a two hour task in 45 minutes.

3. Set Goals: Being realistic doesn’t mean that you should not have goals. Absolutely do so. Goals help you move from negative situations to positive situations; goals provide motivation and direction. Just remember to prioritize your goals and focus on the most important ones first. Recognize that you may need to give something up in order to achieve your goal and break large goals into smaller goals, so that they are more manageable.

4. Stop procrastinating: When you procrastinate or delay a challenging or difficult task, you increase your stress level. Instead of doing it, you think about, you stew about and you worry about it. Getting into the habit of attacking your to do list, instead of pushing it to the side, will reduce your stress level.

5. Learn to say “no”: We sometimes put additional stress on ourselves when we agree to take on more than we can handle. When someone asks you to do something, even if it is something we would like to do but simply don’t have the time for, it can be very difficult to say no. Examples:

Clarify your reason, without making excuses, for being unable to help.  ” I can’t right now because I have another project that is due by 5 p.m. today.” or ” I don’t have time today, but I could schedule it in for tomorrow morning.” or “Yes, I can help you by filing this paperwork and will get that done for you tomorrow morning.”

6. Find the Funny: Humor is another great stress reliever. It has been scientifically proven that a good belly laugh lowers blood pressure, reduces hormones created by stress, gives the immune system a boost, and creates a sense of well-being and happiness.

7. Get organized: Look around. If you would rather work around your clutter than deal with it, you could be inviting more stress into your life than necessary. Eliminate clutter, set up an effective filing system, gather essential tools, and manage workflow, and you will be on your way to creating an effective, less stressful workplace.

8. Assess yourself: Sometimes we are the cause of stress in the workplace.  Take a moment to honestly consider how you treat those around you.  Are you in any way contributing to the stressful environment in your workplace? If you are in a supervisory/management position, are you recognizing and rewarding your team members for their efforts? Are you being overly demanding? Are you providing the training and support that they need in order to succeed? Remember, your success depends on their success.

I hope you find the suggestions useful.

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them.” Denis Waitley

When I was six years old, I wanted to be a jewelry designer. I made earrings, pendants, you name it out of wire and beads. When I told my mother that I want to be a designer, she said that I will not be able to make it in Bulgaria creating jewelry. So my childhood dream to be a designer was out of the picture. I focused on my studies.

In college, after I finished the Community College of Southern Nevada, I transferred to the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I went to see an Academic Advisor to discuss two career options I had in mind–Nursing and Elementary Education. The advisor said that it would take longer for me to finish a degree if I pursue either of these two careers. Well, I went home to discuss my options with my sponsors (my host family at that time). They said that I will have to pick something else, something which will take less time to finish. I end up taking…….International Business. What a disaster! Somehow I finished my degree, but any free minute I had, I read books on psychology and spent time with my friends from all over the world.

Who said that I can’t be a designer? The designer in me is still there. I can still do what I consider beautiful. I can create beauty around me—with the food I cook, in my home, in my interactions with people. After all, I am the designer of my life.

Why not being a teacher? Now that I am a mother, I can teach my son so many things. I will encourage him to do what he loves, because only then he will enjoy life and be successful. I will also share with him that what I learned is that the purpose of our lives is to be happy. Of course, one day he can verify my theories experientially.

Here I am trying to teach my son something, but meanwhile he is teaching me so much about love, patience, and being in the moment.

“Live your life in the manner that you would like your kids to live theirs.” Michael Levine

Now this puts my life into perspective……

 We all have our share of lessons learned.  We live, we try something, it works. Other times, we try and it doesn’t work.  I will never forget a quote by Einstein: “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  I absolutely love it! It is okay to make mistakes, it is fine to learn our lessons, but it is not as okay to keep doing the same mistakes when life already showed us we should do something different or initiate some changes.

I read somwhere that “Our natural state of being is joy.”  I agree with that, I believe in that.  I think that each one of us is born to make the best of life and to enjoy our time here.  When we were kids, we knew it.  Kids are happy, in the moment, smelling the roses, and they find everything amazing and fascinating. Then something happens on the way to adulhood.  We become more serious, less cheerful, more stressed, and anxious.   It almost seems to me that we forgot who we really are and the fact that our natural state of being is joy.

Well, I am sharing with you some of the lessons that I have learned in life:

1.  Friends can be your family: Boy, do I ever know this.  I left Bulgaria 16 years ago and being away from my family, I made my friends my family by connecting with them on a human level.  I learned by befriending people from different cultures that in the heart me are all the same.  I have no idea what I would have done without my friends.  Here is a quote by Edna Buchanan that confirms my experience: ” Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.”

2. My happiness depends on ME: No one can make me happy.  It is my own creation, decision, thinking, etc. that makes me happy.  If I wait for people to make me happy, this might never happen. Plus, I wouldn’t want my happiness to be dependent on something outside of myself.  How about I take responsibility and I make it happen? Then I am stronger and empowered.

3. Appreciating and loving the little things in life: I learned that it is the small things that count: a friendly smile, a hug from my son, a call from a friend who cares, a driver letting me go to the left lane, and simply a warm sunny day.  We learn to value life and everything in it when a major event happens in our life.  We don’t have to wait for an event to take place in order to be happy for another day of being alive, seeing, walking, hearing, etc.

4. School never ends: So we spend years in school and in college, but I think the real learing starts when we start living our lives.  We experiment, try different things, we make different choices, we face challenges, and have bonding moments with people close to us.  As a parent, I never stop learning from my interactions with my son.  When I think I figured something out, another challenge comes up.  The main lesson I am learning every day is how to be human.

Oprah visited Canada for the first time just recently.  She shared with the Chatelaine magazine some of her best lessons:

1. Change is good:  No wonder nature goes through different seasons. There is an opprotunity for a different experience, different energy, different opportunity when we make different choices or consiously try to do something else.  Sometimes we procrastinate to make a decision or just go with the flow, but it might not be the best and healtiest choice in the long run.

2. Decisions, not conditions, determine your destiny: Life consistes of choices.  At the end of the day, our life is the way it is because of the choices we have made.  Oprah’s says that we have 100 percent control over every action and we are 100 percent respnosible for every emotional we feel.  Basically, how we live our lives is our choice.

3. Everybody has a story: Yes, we all have ownership of our own lives.  Our stories are our lives, the events, the laughs, the tears, realizations, lessons learned, etc.  We become what we believe.  I recently read about Self-talk and how important is to believe in ourselves: “All is well”, “It is all good”, “I am safe”, “I can do it.”

4. Trade expectation for appreciation: Nobody likes when we expect from them to be a certain way or act in a certain way.  Humans feel pressure when expectations are expressed.  We resist expectations and we feel not accepted for what we are.  A good point Oprah made is that when we expect, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. It is true because expecting is wanting someone to do something for us.  When we appreciate what other do or do not do for us, the experience is more positive and people feel that they matter.

5. Happiness is contagious: Oprah mentions that when we surround ourselves with positive, happy people, our happiness increases as well.  The opposite is valid as well–Misery loves company.  The idea is to make an effort to stay away from people and situations that bring out the worst in us.

6. Failure is the result of a lack of resourcefulness: According to Oprah, failure happens when ther’s a lack of creativity, passion, determination or commitment.  If wereally want someting or if we are motivated, we will figure out to make it happen.

You can read the full article here Oprah’s Life Class: 10 Life-changing lessons I learned.

Red River College is fortunate to be able to provide a wide range of Wellness supports for staff and students (though access varies from one campus to another).

This month the Wellness Blog turns the spotlight on Chaplaincy Care.  As noted in the College’s Day Planner:

Students and staff may drop by or phone Chaplaincy Care and speak with chaplains (representing various denominations) regarding personal concerns, relationships, stress, crisis situations, life issues, values, spirituality, grief or change, self-esteem, addictions, or any other concerns.  Chaplaincy Care’s volunteer chaplains serve people of all races, beliefs and cultures.  They are here to provide students and staff with personal support, encouragement, empowerment, hope and can facilitate study groups.

Chaplaincy Care is for students and staff looking for a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.  They provide complete confidentiality and a safe place for support and conversation as you work through life issues, stress, relationships or spiritual questions. They also provide a crisis ”Care Line”, available Monday to Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.  The cell phone # is:  898-2686. 

They also maintain a prayer room (A-223 on NDC) for quiet, personal prayer, meditation, renewal or reading. The room is available between 7:00 a.m. to midnight, whenever the college is open. If you want more information about these services and those who provide them, please check out the College’s website.

I took a little break from blogging. I guess I was looking for some material to write about.  It is easy to find a recipe, but I think it takes time to come up with something deeper.  We all know that wellness is broad—physical health, metal health, emotional, spiritual, etc.

I am personally going through an introspective mode or stage.  I am doing some soul searching, soul cleaning like a spring cleaning, ha, ha, and I am becoming aware of many things.  I stepped outside to take a short break and it was wonderful to feel the sunshine, to feel the warmth on my face.

I realized how much I have been running in my life.  By choice, I run to stay fit. It is my choice of exercise and I think it is most of the time perfect for me.  Now I am becoming aware how healthy it is for me to slow down, to be in the moment, to listen to myself.  Our lives are so busy and I feel my life is a treadmill experience.  But it doesn’t have to be that way, I can choose to slow down. When I do that, when I slow down, it feels good.  I listen better, I take care of myself better, I am more patient and as a result of that, I am a better mother to my son.

I realized that I have been running in life for the last eight years in Canada and I feel tired.  I am not only physically tired, but also tired on a soul level.  My whole being resists the go-go mode and maybe it is time to listen to myself.

Today I will raise a question: What are you practicing? As you go through the questions, I am doing the same with you.  The process is helping me prioratize and make healthier choices:

• Do you want to practice rushing through your morning, or can you wake up a little earlier and simplify your morning routine so that you practice a slow, enjoyable morning ritual?
• Do you want to practice checking your mail inbox when you first get to your computer, or can you do something better?
• Do you want to speak angrily to your kids, or can you speak to them with kindness and compassion?
• Do you want to practice complaining and self-pity, or can you practice gratitude?
• Do you want to practice rushing and being busy, or can I practice simplifying and going slowly?
• Do I want to practice shopping, or can I practice giving?

Yes, I realize that it will take a lot of practice to change my habits.  I give myself permission to make mistakes.  I think it takes many little steps to build a new skill, but I need to take the first one.  I will take it one day at a time and it will get easier. I know it.

I will leave you with a quote from Confucius: Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Have a great week!

 Submitted by Margarita Natcheva Rowley, Diversity and Immigrant Student Support

Happiness is such a big word.  Most people I know strive and want to be happy.  But what is happiness? What makes us happy? Maybe it is something personal and special for each one of us.  I have heard and read that true happiness comes from who we are and it is something we cultivate inside each one of us.

Writer, life coach, and educator Srikumar Rao claims that we are hard-wired for happiness.  When he is asked, ” Why then am I so unhappy?”, he responds,” You have spent your entire life learning to be unhappy”. Think about that for a moment.

Dr. Srikumar Rao has done a talk consisting of two parts.  If you are interested in learning more on how we are hard-wired for happiness and how happiness is part of our innate nature, check the following youtube talks:

Also, if you need tips to help you feel joyful, try some of the following ideas:

http://www.chatelaine.com/en/article/34967–10-secrets-to-happiness-that-really-work

Have a great weekend everyone!

Submitted by Margarita Natcheva Rowley, Diversity and Immigrant Student Support